Bonding together (Chayei Sarah)

Rav Johnny's original thoughts on the weekly parsha

While there are many personalities that appear in Parshat Chayei Sarah, perhaps the greatest ‘personality’ of the parsha is the city of Hebron itself where Ma’arat HaMachpelah is located. In fact, thousands of people flock to Hebron for Shabbat Parshat Chayei Sarah in order to bond with this historic city and in order to pray at this sacred burial site of our patriarchs and matriarchs.

In terms of Hebron itself (whose root H-B-R means ‘bond’ or ‘friend’), it is referred to in or parsha both by the name ‘Hebron’, and ‘Kiryat Arba’ (see Bereishit 23:2), while the Midrash (Bereishit Rabbah 58:4) informs us that Hebron has two further names: ‘Eshkol’ (see Bemidbar 13:23), and ‘Mamre’ (see Bereishit 13:18). Naturally, we may wonder why this city needs four names. My answer to this question is that each name describes a different type of H-B-R, meaning a different type of ‘bond’ or ‘friend’.

Let us begin with the name ‘Kiryat Arba’, literally, ‘the city of the Four’. As Rashi notes (while quoting the Midrash), ‘the Four’ is understood by some to be an allusion to the four giants of Achiman, Sheshai, Talmai & Avihem who lived in that region, while others explain how this name hints to the four couples who were to be buried there: Adam & Chava, Avraham & Sarah, Yitzchak & Rivkah, Yaakov & Leah. Focusing here on this second interpretation, not only does this provide us with an explanation of the name ‘Kiryat Arba’, but it also provides us with an insight about the concept of H-B-R. This is because there much to learn about connection, bonding and friendship from husbands and wives, and specifically, from the marriages of Adam & Chava, Avraham & Sarah, Yitzchak & Rivkah, Yaakov & Leah. Accordingly, we learn from the name ‘Kiryat Arba’ that one example of H-B-R (i.e. bonding and friendship) is marriage.

Moving onto ‘Mamre’, this was the name of Avraham’s closest friend who encouraged and supported him as he became the great servant of God and ambassador of monotheism (see Midrash Tanchuma on Bereishit 3:1). Accordingly, by associating Mamre with Hebron, I believe that we are being taught how a powerful expression of H-B-R is having a loyal and supportive friend (which is precisely why the Hebrew word for friend is ‘haver’!).

This now brings us to the name ‘Eshkol’ which generally refers to a ‘cluster’ (eg. of grapes). However, the root S-K-L also has associations with bereavement (see Bereishit 43:14) – which is why bereaved families in Israel are known as Mishpachot Shakulot. Of course, the bond which develops between those who have lost loved ones is not a H-B-R that anyone would choose. Nevertheless, it is a remarkably strong bond. Given this, I believe that the name ‘Eshkol’ teaches us that we connect and bond together through loss.

Finally, let us speak of the name ‘Hebron’. As mentioned, the root H-B-R means ‘bond’ or ‘friend’, and when it comes to the name ‘Hebron’ itself, I believe that it is discussing a very unique type of bond or friendship – namely the bond and friendship that we have with God.

Taken together, when we think about the root H-B-R, I believe that our Sages want us to consider the different ways that we connect and bond: through love & marriage; through friendship; through heartache & loss, and through faith in God.

Shabbat Shalom!