Finding strength amid sorrow (Vayishlach)

Rav Johnny's original thoughts on the weekly parsha

There is a well-established rule in Jewish law that if someone makes a statement from their deathbed, then this statement carries additional gravitas and, in general, whatever they say should be done. However, this principle seems to be directly challenged in our parsha.

When Yaakov and Rachel were travelling from Beit El to Efrat we are told (see Bereishit 35:16-18) that Rachel went into a difficult labour. In the height of her anguish, Rachel’s midwife reassured her that she should not be afraid, [that despite her fears, the baby was alive (as per Shadal)], and that she was about to give birth to a son. Nevertheless, it soon became clear to Rachel that she was going to die during childbirth. And so, while her soul was departing⁠ she named her new baby, “Ben Oni”. Still, in that same verse we are then told that Yaakov called the baby by a different name - “Binyamin”. The question is: why did Yaakov give an alternative name - especially since we are generally bound to do what someone on their deathbed asks of us?

To answer, we must first explore the meaning of the name which Rachel gave to her son, “Ben-Oni”, which generally translates as, “the son of my anguish/sorrow” (see Rashi, based on Devarim 26:14).

As should be clear, this name seems appropriate because Rachel’s baby was born during Rachel’s anguished labour, and because she would not be physically present to see her son grow up. But if this is the case, why did Yaakov offer an alternative name for their son?

Addressing this point the Netziv explains that the name “Ben Oni” actually has two meanings: “The son of my anguish/sorrow”, but also, “the son of my strength & vigour” (see Bereishit 49:3 & Malbim). Accordingly, Rachel gave her son a name with two meanings to express her dual feelings of sorrow and strength.

But then, when Yaakov heard this name, we are told that he called the baby “Binyamin” which literally means, “the son of my right (side)”. As we know, ‘right’ is frequently associated and synonymous with ‘strength’ (see for example Tehillim 20:7). And so, what emerges from here is that Rachel gave a dual-meaning name to her new baby which reflected her mixed emotions of the fraught present and what she hoped would be a more positive future, while the name given by Yaakov emphasized just the latter. But why?

The Torah describes how Rachel dies ‘baderech’ - ‘by the way’ (Bereishit 35:19), while Yirmiya 31:14 records that when the exiles return to Israel, Rachel will be there waiting for them by the way.

With her life ending at that moment at the mid-point of a journey, Rachel had mixed emotions because she could not foresee what would be - and so she gave the baby a name reflecting these mixed emotions.

But Yaakov, who had wrestled with an angel and prevailed (see Bereishit 32:29), knew that while the here-and-now of Rachel’s death was tragic, their son Binyamin would ultimately represent splendour and strength. Yes, Yaakov was devastated by Rachel’s death. Still, he was able to look beyond the here and now, despite its tragedy, and instead see hope, strength and the ultimate redemption.

As we know, the past 14 months have been brutal, and there are still so many – specifically the hostages and their families - who are suffering. However, we are a people whose name means that we’ve wrestled with an angel and prevailed. And so, while we continue to experience loss and tragedy, we must still hold onto hope, while looking towards the ultimate redemption.

Shabbat Shalom!