Lonely Burial (Vayetze)

Rav Johnny's original thoughts on the weekly parsha

One of the highlights of Parshat Vayetze is when Yaakov kisses Rachel. However, amidst this emotional encounter, the Torah then informs us that Yaakov then, ‘raised his voice and wept’, (Bereishit 29:11). The question, of course, is why did Yaakov cry?

Rashi, quoting Bereishit Rabbah 70:12, suggests that Yaakov cried because he foresaw with Ruach HaKodesh (the Divine Spirit) that Rachel would not be buried alongside him (nb. the Midrash finds a hint to this claim in Bereishit 30:15, when Rachel says to Leah, “That is why he will lie with you tonight” – meaning that he will lie with you and he will not lie with me [after my death]). Accordingly, Yaakov’s sadness was due to the fact that despite his great love for Rachel, she would not be buried alongside him.

Holding this thought, I then paused to consider Har Herzl (Mount Herzl - which is Israel’s National Military Cemetery), along with the many other military cemeteries located around Israel where our holy fallen soldiers are buried, and it occurred to me that when a wife or husband elects for their spouse to be buried in a military cemetery, they are – at the same time – electing not to be buried next to their spouse.

As should be clear from the above-mentioned Midrashic remark, it is considered to be a great comfort for a married couple for them to be buried side-by-side. In fact, the Maharsham (Responsa Vol. 3 No. 343) even allows for a woman to be reinterred so she can be buried next to her husband. Given all this, what the justification is for married IDF soldiers being buried in a military cemetery without the possibility of being buried alongside their spouse?

To answer this question, we must turn to the halachic category called Met Mitzvah - which is a biblical commandment to bury a man or woman upon finding their body in a location that is far from home. In fact, our Sages derive from Vayikra 21:5 that even a Kohen, who ordinarily may not have contact with the dead, is commanded to bury a Met Mitzvah. Significantly, we are told in Eruvin 17a that this same principle applies to a soldier who dies in battle while serving beyond the borders of Israel (see Hilchot Melachim 6:12).

However, as the Shach (on Yoreh Deah 364 se’if katan 10) explains, while the burial of a soldier where they have fallen in battle on foreign soil is required by the Torah, in situations where there is a concern that the grave of this soldier will not be marked, or that his body may be abused by the enemy, then though the body is considered to be a Met Mitzvah, we should do whatever is necessary to bury this fallen soldier in a safe location where it will be honoured. Thus, Rabbi Eliezer Waldenberg writes in his Hilchot Medinah Vol. 2 pp. 203-204 that, ‘from this Shach we learn the halachic justification for bringing those who fell in battle to a dedicated…[military] cemetery.’

On this basis, when an IDF soldier is buried in a military cemetery, though he is practically being buried in a location where his family and nation can honour him, he is conceptually being buried on the battlefield. Understood this way, this is the reason why a military cemetery is not a regular cemetery where spouses and other family members can be buried near their loved one. Instead, it is a space that serves as a bridge between where the soldier fell and their final resting place.

Returning to Yaakov, the Midrash relates that he cried because he foresaw that Rachel would not be buried alongside him. In contrast, when our soldiers go out to battle, though they are aware of the possibility that they may fall in battle and that if they do, they won’t be buried next to their loved ones, they don’t cry. Instead, the soldiers I’ve spoken to are comforted by the thought that if they do fall in battle while defending their people and their country that they will be buried alongside their beloved people in the earth of their beloved country.

We continue to pray every day for the return of the hostages that are still alive.

We continue to pray every day for the return of the bodies of IDF soldiers and hostages which are being held in Gaza.

And we continue to marvel and draw inspiration from the courage, faith and sacrifice of our precious and holy soldiers.

Shabbat Shalom!