Rivka's friends (Toldot)

Rav Johnny's original thoughts on the weekly parsha

While we often quote Rashi with the words ‘Rashi says’, around 80% of Rashi’s commentary is not a commentary written by Rashi per se, but rather, a commentary curated by Rashi from the Midrash, Talmud and other rabbinic sources. Consequently, we can learn much about Rashi not only from what he includes from these sources, but also from what he leaves out.

A particularly fascinating case study is Rashi’s curation of the Midrash in his commentary to Bereishit 25:22 where we read: ‘The children clashed within her (i.e. Rivka). She said, “If so, why is this happening to me?” (lama zeh anochi), so she went to inquire of the Lord (lidrosh et Hashem).’

Commenting on the words lama zeh anochi, “why is this happening to me?”, the Midrash (Bereishit Rabbah 63:6) records the explanation of Rabbi Yitzchak that Rivka went around her community to each of the women’s tents and asked each of them: “In your days [when you were pregnant] did you experience this suffering?” Having described Rivka’s crowdsourcing, Rabbi Yitzchak then attributes a further line to Rivka which he assumes she either said out loud to the women, or alternatively that she said to herself: “Because if this is the suffering that comes with being pregnant, I now wish that I wouldn’t have conceived!” What this suggests is that Rivka experienced so much physical pain while she was pregnant that she even regretted conceiving, and so, in order for her to ascertain whether her pain and suffering was or wasn’t normal, she then went to seek the advice of her women friends and neighbours of the city.

However, as Rabbeinu Nissim explains in his Drashot HaRan (Drush 2), it seems that these women could not offer Rivka any biological reason why she was experiencing so much pain and suffering. Given this, the Midrash then relates that Rivka went lidrosh et Hashem, “to inquire of the Lord” - which it explains to mean that she sought spiritual guidance about her situation from the leading spiritual leaders of her generation.

So far we have quoted the relevant passages from Bereishit Rabbah 63:6, and it is from here that we learn something very significant about how to deal with what may initially appear to be physical/medical issue: Firstly, speak to people who are likely to be knowledgeable about the issue. And then, if you can’t find any satisfactory answers about ‘what’ the problem might be, your second step should be to turn to wise spiritual leaders to help you try and figure out whether there may be a spiritual reason ‘why’ you are experiencing this difficulty.

Having presented the Midrash let us now review how Rashi curates this Midrash in his commentary to Bereishit 25:22:

She said, “If so, - [If] the pain of pregnancy be so great,

why is this happening to me?” (lama zeh anochi) – [Why is it] that I longed and prayed to become pregnant?

so she went to inquire - at the study house of Shem

to inquire of the Lord - that He might tell her what would happen to her at the end.

As should be clear, Rashi’s commentary focusses on how Rivka was concerned about her physical pain and discomfort. However, despite quoting from some of what Rabbi Yitzchak says about her apparent regret of becoming pregnant, Rashi makes no mention of Rivka consulting with the women of the city.

Naturally, there are other insights in this Midrash and in other Midrashim which Rashi also doesn’t reference here. Still, the fact that Rashi presents some elements of Rabbi Yitzchak’s interpretation, but omits other parts, calls for our attention.

Of course, it is possible that Rashi simply did not feel that it was necessary to reference this detail because it should be obvious that whenever someone experiences physical discomfort that they should first seek guidance from those knowledgeable about the issue. Alternatively, it is possible that Rashi felt that it was more important to teach his readers to seek spiritual advice above and beyond medical advice.

Still, when we contrast Rashi’s commentary with his Midrashic source, his commentary seems to describe Rivka following a single-step process whose focus is Rivka’s search for a spiritual ‘why’, whereas the Midrash seems to describe Rivka following a two-step process where she first tries to ascertain ‘what’ is going on, and only later seeks spiritual guidance about the ‘why’.

As an educator and as a spiritual coach who regularly helps people explore how they should strike the right balance between human endeavour (hishtadlut) and relying on faith (bitachon), I feel that how this verse is taught can have a huge impact on what we understand to be the right balance between hishtadlut and bitachon.

In light of all this, I believe that we have a duty to learn not just Rashi’s commentary, but also the sources of Rashi, and, where appropriate, ‘fill in the details.’ This is because how we understand and interpret the actions of our matriarchs or patriarchs can have a huge impact on what we regard as being the right thing to do when we find ourselves in a similar situation.

Shabbat Shalom!